All of us have been around people who are genuinely happy. Happiness I have found, is not something that always comes naturally. Actually, it takes work. It requires us to deliberately and consistently take stock of our lives.
There are ten characteristics that seem universal to happy people. It is a list that I look over often when I find myself struggling with a situation. It helps me to realize that happiness really is a state of mind. We must train our minds towards happiness.
1. They are comfortable with uncertainty
Happy people understand that uncertainty is a part of life. They cannot always control what the next chapter of life will bring, but they can learn to be comfortable with it.
They have faith in the fact that even though they do not see their next step, a path will appear for them. They have learned to adjust their wings and ride the next wave of life.
Happy people do not stress about what will come next because they are too busy living in the now.
2. They do not rely on others
While they love their family and friends, happy people do not rely on them for their happiness and fulfillment. They have learned to be the hero of their own stories.
They decorate their own souls instead of waiting for someone to do it for them. By loving others without relying on them, they cultivate relationships that grow and endure with time. They understand that we do not need others to complete us when we are whole already.
3. They consistently bless their life
It was on a busy, stressful morning when I got on a shuttle bus to the airport from the parking lot. The driver cheerfully asked me how I was doing. I responded kindly and asked her the same question. This is what she said:
"I am so blessed. Do you see what I see everyday? I get to see this beautiful city in all it’s glory. I get to see all the colors of the sunrise. And I make sure people get to their destinations to be with their families and friends. So yes, I am blessed!”
Happy people find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Each day they consistently bless their life. They understand that what they focus on, expands. So they chose to focus on the good.
4. They keep their inner circle small
They may have five thousand friends on facebook, but happy people keep their inner circle small. They understand that true and authentic friendships require time and energy so they save theirs for a select few. They choose like-minded people to be around. They choose those that radiate positivity and a sense of contentment with the world around them.
Their inner circle challenges, inspires and pushes them to their greatest potential. And they pick them very carefully.
5. They are driven by intrinsic rewards
Happy people are motivated by intrinsic rewards. They seek activities and professions that bring meaning into their lives. They understand that when they are ‘in the flow’ of things and doing what they are passionate about, they are stepping into the greater blessings that life has to offer.
They are not motivated by money or material objects. What really excites them is honoring the journey of their soul. They seek to do the work which makes their soul come alive.
They also realize that sometimes they have to go against what society is telling them to do in order to be who they really are.
The author Paulo Coelho, was sent to a mental institution by his parents three times when he was younger simply because he wanted to be a writer.
He later wrote on his blog:
I promised to myself that one day I would write about this experience, so young people will understand that we have to fight for our own dreams from a very early stage of our lives.
Happy people are driven to do the work which brings intrinsic rewards, honoring the work they were called to do.
----Smita Malhotra
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