1. During arguments. One of the best times to use the power of silence is during an argument is to stay silent. The ego will be trying to force its way out of you and finish the argument but you are the controller, not the ego. When someone is shouting at you, looking for an argument or just picking on you can literally take all the power away from them and keep all your energy by simply looking at them and saying absolutely nothing. This is extremely difficult to do but very powerful.
2. Gossiping. When there is a crowd of people in the workplace there are gossipers who speak about other people. The thing with gossiping is that it is contagious. When we don’t like
someone and someone else starts speaking about them we naturally tend to voice our opinion, I’ve done it lots of times and have to stop myself.
Try and stop yourself from catching the virus of gossiping and use the power of silent whenever it occurs. If you are a gossiper yourself and people around start to notice that you are ‘not your usual self’, don’t give an explanation just leave saying you’ve got work to do or whatever, pretty soon you’ll be out of the gossiping loop.
3. When someone is talking. Silence is a great tool for counselors if used in the right way. It’s also great when listening to friends and family.
Just let people talk and listen to them and use your facial expressions and movements to acknowledge that you are listening. This can be a tough thing to do but silence is an extremely powerful for both you, as the listener, and the talker.
You will find that as you practice this, more people come to talk to you as you will be known as a listener. Obviously there are times to speak during the conversation, however when you do, make sure it is to paraphrase what the talker is saying or asking questions to get more information, don’t make it about yourself.
When people want to know more about you they will ask you questions, this is the time to talk about yourself but always have the listener be part of the conversation.
4. When the house is empty. The silence of the home can be quite disturbing to some people as there is a natural need to fill the void of silence. We turn on the radio, play some music, call friends or family, or turn on the TV to fill this void. Having a completely silent home when you are alone does not mean you are alone it simply means you are recharging your mind and giving it some downtime.
Silence helps us to work through, in our minds, the events of the day or project what we want to happen during the day ahead. I am a night owl and also a morning lark. I love the silence when I know everyone is safe and tucked up in bed and I can write or work on the computer. On the weekends I go to bed with my wife to talk about the day’s events or our plans and just have a laugh or whatever.
Once my wife, who loves her sleep, has gone to sleep I kiss her goodnight and get up for a few hours to write as this is the time I am most inspired. I am also the first person up in the morning which means I have another 2 hours to write or work on my online projects in silence.
I know it’s harder when you are alone, however times of silence can be used to think about the life you want and work out ways to get it.
5. Quiet reflection. This is a fantastic way to connect with world in a way that is not possible when you are surrounded by hubbub noise. 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes in the evening simply focusing on your breath can do wonders for both mind and body. I truly believe that with practice quiet reflection can help us reach a level of deep inner calm.
The state of silence is a way of reaching another part of your mind not possible when going about your daily routine. This other part of your mind is connected in every way to the world around you and with practice you can tap into this knowledge.
----Advanced Life Skills
The art of silence
Silence can be quite empowering, so by learning the art of silence you will feed your soul. It's difficult for a lot of people to embrace and experience the value of silence. There is often pressure to fill the atmosphere with words. Being comfortable with silence and your own solitude is useful – it's when we pause that we afford ourselves a space to digest what is being said and to think of a response. We get to listen to not only what is being said, but also what is not being said. Comfort in handling silence lends itself to a confident demeanour.
In relationships
It's hard to decipher between being right and being happy. There are times when pushing to be right can compromise our happiness in relationships. Choose to be quiet if the relationship is more important than just about winning the argument.
It will serve you in the long run
When there's a lot at stake, being quiet may serve us more than speaking. During the recent World Cup, some of the referees didn't endear themselves to the teams and fans, but some teams chose to use their energy towards winning their games, despite the referee's harsh decisions, while others continued to talk about those incidents even off the field. In keeping quiet, you are choosing to expand your energy to worthy causes.
If you'll regret it, don't say it
When you have nothing to say, don't spoil your silence by saying something you will regret. As long as your body language is not communicating something different, feel free to just keep quiet and observe the situation.
Be compassionate
When someone is in despair and sharing their pain or challenges with you, shut up and listen. It is not time for you to steal the limelight just because you have been through the same experience. It doesn't have to be about you all the time, so hold your tongue and acknowledge the other person and their need to vent. By honouring their expression of pain or guilt, they will want to confide in you again in the future.
----Destiny Connect
There are times when silence is not golden, is in fact only base alloy, and when duty can be done only by speaking. We have no right to keep our gentle thoughts and feelings in our heart unexpressed — when loved ones are starving for words of affection.
Nevertheless, it is ofttimes our duty to be silent. There are times when silence is indeed golden, and when speech is only silver, or even poor dross. It is a good thing to know when to speak — and when not to speak. Some people talk altogether too much. They chatter on forever. Nothing ever awes them into silence. Silence is better far than idle, sinful, or foolish speech.
----J.R. Miller, 1898
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Have you been in a situation where you should have kept quiet, but didn't?
What can we learn from today's topic?
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